As part of our series – More will be Revealed we asked our acupuncturists to share a meaningful part of their lives. Karen shares her experience being a long distance grandma.
Three years ago, my husband and I were blessed to welcome our first grandchild – a girl. Since then, we’ve welcomed two more grandchildren, another girl and our first grandson. My grandchildren call me Savta (which means “grandma” in Hebrew). My name first started out as “ata,” then “sata,” and now two out of the three can yell out “Savta!” when they see me! It’s been a blast watching the developmental process – which I honestly have to admit, I can barely remember from raising my own kids.
My grandchildren live on opposite coasts, which means I’m a long-distance Savta. My frequent flyer miles tell the story of my heart. Every number on that statement represents a hug earned, a bedtime story shared, and a memory created across thousands of miles. I’m surely not alone in this long-distance love affair with grandkids. This love doesn’t recognize geography – and some of life’s greatest adventures begin with a boarding pass.
Many of today’s families are spread across the country, and we’ve had to reinvent what it means to be present in our grandchildren’s lives. I’ve discovered how blessed I am to have children who welcome me into their homes to connect with their babies. I’ve discovered distance hasn’t diminished my role as a grandmother – it’s intensified it.
Since I’m not in close proximity, it means that my time as a grandmother comes in concentrated doses of pure joy. Every visit becomes a celebration. Every hug carries the weight of all the ones I’ve missed and the anticipation of the next trip already booked.
As a traveling Savta, there’s something magical about the countdown to a visit. The planning, the packing of carefully chosen gifts, the excitement building as the departure date approaches. My grandchildren don’t just see me regularly – as they begin to understand the concept of time, they get to experience the thrill of anticipation, the joy of reunion, and the knowledge that someone loves them enough to cross the country just to be with them.
I’ve become an expert in airport logistics, carry-on optimization, and creating portable traditions. My suitcase tells stories. There are the gifts, like the special blanket their great grandmother made (who I know is watching from above and experiencing the ultimate joy) or new books and educational toys to help them learn new skills. And then there are the very casual clothes I pack for myself, knowing they will get dirty as I burp the newborn or cook in the kitchen with the older kids.
Distance has taught me something that nearby grandparents might never discover: the power of intentional relationship-building. Every moment matters when you can’t be there for every gymnastics class or school birthday celebration. This has made me more creative, more present, and more purposeful in how I connect with my grandchildren.
When you’re a long-distance grandma, every visit becomes about making memories. We create traditions that can only happen when I’m there: eating special meals, cooking and baking together, going to parks, and watching parentally pre-approved movies when Savta is too tired to do anything else but hang with the kids on the couch. It all becomes treasured time and memories – memories they likely won’t remember when they get older, but will instill the feeling of being loved and adored from a pre-verbal age. That is what will be etched into the fabric of their beings and senses of self. That is the ultimate gift to give any child.
Between visits, we maintain our bond through technology – video calls that span time zones, virtually lighting the Friday night candles, blessing the children, toasting l’chaim to grape juice and watching the kids devour some of Savta’s challah from a previous visit. Or as my husband commented: who needs Netflix when we can watch our grandkids eat and play? Grandkids turn you into “one of those” grandparents who can’t get enough. Technology helps to bridge the miles, but nothing replaces the magic of being physically present, of reading their expressions, of spontaneous hugs and whispered secrets.
I’m one of many long-distance grandparents who is following in the footsteps of my parents, who were long-distance grandparents to my kids. Though it’s a different generation and our relationships are not the same, my parents taught me that geography is irrelevant when it comes to family bonds. Gratefully, I am continuing to redefine what it means to be present, proving that physical distance is no match for emotional closeness.
Being a grandmother today is measured not in proximity but in purpose, not in frequency but in intensity. My grandchildren are learning that love is an action, that family is worth any distance, and that some of the best adventures begin with the words “Savta’s coming to visit!”
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